Living abroad means navigating cultural differences—and the assumptions that come with them. Here’s how a simple plumbing issue turned into a powerful reminder about curiosity, communication, and cultural understanding.

Living in another country teaches you a lot: how to adapt, how to communicate beyond words, how to laugh at yourself—and, surprisingly, how often we get things wrong by assuming.

This lesson came back to me recently in a very unexpected way: through a plumber.

A few days ago, I shared a short video on social media about an experience I had. Nothing dramatic—just a frustrating moment. A plumber had promised to send me an estimate… and then disappeared. No messages, no calls, nothing.

As someone who likes clear and direct communication, I used the story to reflect on how different cultures handle communication. Where I live now, the style tends to be more indirect—and that contrast alone can create misunderstandings, even over something as simple as a service appointment.

I didn’t mention which country I was in. I didn’t name the plumber. Just a light personal insight about how intercultural dynamics show up in everyday life.

And then the comment came.

“You should learn the local language.”

It was based entirely on assumptions.

The commenter assumed:

• That I didn’t speak the local language

• That I was speaking to the plumber in English

• That the plumber didn’t speak English

• And that the whole situation was somehow my fault—for not integrating
  

Here’s the truth?

I do speak the local language—fluently.
I had the entire conversation with the plumber in that language.
The issue had nothing to do with language barriers.

To their credit, the commenter deleted the message after I clarified. No apology, but hey… small victories.

Because we all do it.
Even those of us who teach about intercultural communication and have lived in multiple countries (hi)—we still fall into the trap of interpreting someone else’s behavior through our own lens.

It’s natural. It’s automatic.
But if we don’t stop to examine those assumptions, we miss out on real understanding.

Assumptions close doors. They:

• Block connection
• Limit empathy
• Create friction where there could be curiosity
• Lead to unfair judgments
  

When you live abroad—or even when you’re just having a conversation with someone from a different background—your job isn’t to assume. It’s to ask. To stay open. To remember that your way isn’t the only way.

And maybe this is something you want to carry with you too:

• Be curious before you’re critical.

• Ask before you assume.

• Breathe before you react.

Whether you’re navigating a new culture or just dealing with a ghosting plumber, these little mindset shifts can change everything.

There’s a whole world to discover—not just in the country you’ve moved to, but in every human interaction. If we can slow down, stay present, and let go of snap judgments, we open the door to deeper understanding and real connection.

So next time something doesn’t make sense, ask yourself: What might I be assuming here?

It might just teach you more than you expected—just like that plumber taught me.

The Expat Journey Program is here to help you move abroad—and grow through it. With resources, coaching, and a supportive community, you’ll build a life abroad that works for you.

Learn more at www.expatjourneyprogram.com